Chimwe chikamu chinokosha chehukama chero ipi zvayo ndiko kuvimba uye kuremekedza munhu. Kusavapo kwezvikamu izvi kunogona kutungamirira pakuonekwa kwehukama hwakadzika huchibva kune udyire, kusanzwisisa uye chisimba. Zviri nyore kuziva mutambudzi, uye kugara naye kunogona kunge kwakaoma zvakaoma uye kune ngozi.
Abuz - chii ichocho?
Izwi rokuti "kushungurudza ukama" rakaonekwa mupfungwa dzepfungwa munguva ichangopfuura, saka kune chikonzero chekubvunza nezvehukama hwehukama hwei uye hurumende ndiye ndiani? Izwi rokuti "abyuz" rine chimiro cheChirungu uye rinoshandurwa se "kushungurudzwa", "chisimba", "kushorwa". Abuzer munhu anoseka hafu yechipiri, anomumanikidzira, anoderedza kana kusazvidza zvido zvake, kutuka, anotungamirira kune mamwe mabasa kana kuratidza kushungurudzwa mumuviri kwaari.
Muukama hunoshungurudza, munhu wechipiri achaita senhapwa isina kodzero yekuvhota uye nguva nenguva kana kugadzirisa zvinetso zvepfungwa kana zvepanyama kubva kune mumwe wako. Pamusana pemafungiro ayo epfungwa, munhu anenge achinetseka anokwanisa kushivirira ukama hunoshungurudza kwemazuva mazhinji, zvichiita kuti munhu anomanikidza kuita zvechisimba uye chisimba.
Abuz ane marudzi akadaro:
- psychological abuz - yakavanzika kana kuti chisimba zvakananga pamusoro pemudzimai wepfungwa yepfungwa;
- kushungurudzwa mumuviri - chisimba chemumuviri pamusoro pomunhu;
- kushungurudzwa kwepabonde - kumanikidzirwa nemumwe wako kuti ave noukama hwepedyo kunze kwekuda kwechido uye muviri;
- kushandiswa kwehupfumi - mumwe mukana akaiswa mukuzvipira zvakakwana kuburikidza nokuongorora mari.
Psychological Abuse
Tichifunga nezvebyuz mune zvepfungwa, vatsvakurudzi kunyanya vanoteerera kugomba rakadzikadzika mupfungwa. Chikonzero cheizvi chiri muchokwadi chokuti iyi ndiyo inowanzosiyana yechisimba muhukama. Kushushikana kwepfungwa kunoratidzwa mukutyisidzira, kunyadziswa, kunyomba munhu . Shamwari yakafuridzirwa kuti haina maturo, haifariri, ibenzi, haigoneki chero chinhu. Mafungiro aya anotungamirira kuderera kwekuzviremekedza kwomumwe wako, kuonekwa kwekuora mwoyo uye kuora mwoyo, kusada kutaura kune vamwe vanhu.
Rudo rwepfungwa rwemagariro abyuz rine marudzi maviri ezviratidzo:
- Vhura abyuz . Iyo Abuzer inoratidzira mafungiro ayo akaipa pamusoro penhepfenyuro yeupenyu nenzira yakazaruka pamberi pevamwe vanhu. Anokwanisa zvachose kutaura kuti shamwari yake ibenzi uye haina maturo, ine unhu hwakaipa hwehutsika uye tsika dzakaipa.
- Hidden abyuz . Abuzer ane ruremekedzo kune mumwe wake muvanhu vose, asi anonyengera ari oga. Anogara achitaura kune mumwe wake, anotaura kusagutsikana pamusoro pemafambiro ake, anoratidza kukanganisa, anotaura mazwi anonyadzisa, anonyadzisa.
Kushungurudzwa pabonde
Kuti iwane tsanangudzo yakajeka yekuti kushungurudzwa chii, zvakaoma kuwana izwi rakakodzera kupfuura chirwere. Kushushikana kune mumwe wako kunogona kuzviratidza mumativi ose, asi kushungurudzika kwepabonde ndiko kunonyanya kunetseka kwepfungwa. Iyi nharaunda yehukama hwevanhu inoda kunakidza uye kunzwisisa. Munhu anoshungurudza haadi kufunga nezvezvinodiwa uye chimiro chomumwe wako, achimuona sechinhu chinogutsa zvido zvake zvepabonde.
Mumapfumbamwe makumi matatu ematambudziko, murume ndiye unobata zvepabonde. Anoruramisa mararamiro ake nekuti mukadzi anofanira kuzadzisa basa rake. Nekushungurudzwa kwepabonde, mukadzi anotambura nemigumisiro yakafanana yekubatwa chibharo. Rudzi urwu rwemhirizhonga runogona kugara kwemakore, semugumisiro wekuti mukadzi anogona kuva mukushungurudzika kwepfungwa nguva dzose, kuratidza kusava nehanya nehupenyu, kusava nehanya uye kuzviuraya.
Kushatiswa muhukama - zviratidzo
Kushandisa utsinye, saka zviri nyore kudzidza rudzi urwu hwehukama. Muukama hunoshungurudza, nzira dzakasiyana-siyana dzinogona kushandiswa, chinangwa chekunyadzisa nekuzvidza unhu hwomudzimai. Ushamwari husina kunaka hune maitiro akadaro:
- Godo . Mumwe wacho anoedza kudzora kutaura kwemuvakaroorana naye, kunyanya kana zvasvika pakukurukurirana nomumwe munhu wepabonde.
- Kuongororwa . Mudiwa anoda nguva dzose mishumo pamusoro pezvakaitwa nemumwe wako, kwaaiva uye nguva.
- Crooks . Kubvisa kubhadhara kwevanoshungurudza nokuda kwechikonzero chipi zvacho kunogona kuunza muvakidzani kuzviuraya, hutsinye kana kuora mwoyo.
- Mhosva . Mune hukama hunoshungurudza, mumwe munhu anogara ari nemhosva yezvinetso zvose kana kuti ane mhosva kune anotambudza aifanira kutadza.
- Tenderness . Munhu anonyadzisa anokanganisa chero nguva, uye danho rekuyananisa nguva dzose rinomirira kubva kune mumwe wako.
- Maitiro emafungiro . Manzwiro omunhu anotambudza anogona kuchinja kune chero chikonzero, kazhinji kune chinangwa chezvakaipa uye zvechisimba. Mushure mokunge achinetseka, anokurumidza kunonoka, asi mumwe wake anogona kutora nguva refu achibva pamanzwiro ake kana kuti mumuviri.
Abuzer varume varume zviratidzo
Mune makumi mapfumbamwe ematatu ematambudziko, avo vanodhakwa ndivo varume. Izvi zvinokonzerwa nebasa guru revarume kwemazana emakore uye nekuvapo kwepamusoro ye testosterone hormone inokonzerwa nechisimba. Abuzera-munhu anogona kuzivikanwa nezviratidzo zvakadaro:
- iye ane zvakasiyana nezvinodiwa iye pachake neyemumwe wake: izvo zvaasabvumiri mukadzi, anofunga kuti zvinobvumirwa kwaari;
- panguva yekurwa kunoshandisa kuwedzera kwezwi, kuchema;
- anoratidza hukuru hwake hwepanyama, anotyisidzira nechisimba;
- mashizha ari oga munzvimbo isingazivikanwi;
- anopomera mumwe waanoita nhema, anoratidza kusavimba nemashoko ake;
- anotarisira hurukuro dzefoni dzomumwe wake, anoongorora mharidzo;
- abyuzer-murume ane godo kune munhu chero upi zvake anowirirana naye. Zviri nani kutaurirana, godo rinowedzera.
Abuzer-mukadzi - zviratidzo.
Mukushamwaridzana kushamwaridzana, basa rakaipa rinogona kutamba mukadzi. Sezvo iye asina kusimba kupfuura munhu mumuviri, mutambudzi-mukadzi anoshandisa dzimwe nzira dzokunyadzisa uye kushungurudza mumwe wako. Muchikwata chayo mune nzira dzakadaro:
- kuramba kwehukama hwepedyo, kunyombwa kwehutano hwepabonde;
- kushungurudzika kwechikadzi kunotungamirirwa kune zvinhu zvemudiwa, kunoroka ndiro, zvigadzirwa, zvakapambwa zvipfeko;
- anocherechedza nhanho imwe neimwe yewakaroorana naye, anoitungamirira nenzira yakadaro iyo vanhu vose vakamupoteredza vanoziva pamusoro payo;
- musangano mumwe nomumwe unotanga nekubvunzurudzwa kupi uye kune ani waiva;
- kuramba asingagutsikane nemafambiro ewakaroorana naye;
- inobvunza kukwanisa kwomumwe wako, inotsoropodza munhu.
Sei uchifanira kuva abyuzeryami?
Kune zvikonzero zvakasiyana siyana nei munhu achinge achitambudza. Iyo huru ndeyokuti:
- mumhuri yevabereki pane hukama hwakashata;
- uyo aipomeresa aiita zvepabonde kana mumuviri achinetswa muhucheche kana achiri kuyaruka;
- Kunyanya kuzviremekedza kweavo, iyo asingazivi anoyera kuwedzera nekunyadzisa mumwe;
- kuora kwepfungwa uye zvirwere;
- zvinhu zvehutano: kuratidzira, utsinye, hurumende, kusakwanisa kuzvidzora, udyire.
Nzira yekuita sei nemunhu anoshungurudza?
Kushungurudza muhukama - ichi ndicho chikonzero nei zvichifanira kubvarura ukama nekuedza kutanga hupenyu hutsva. Munhu anenge ava kunyomba haakwanisi kuchinja maitiro ake pasina rubatsiro rweyanyanzvi uye orega kunyadzisa shamwari yake uye kuratidza utsinye. Kana mumwe wako achiedza kurongedza kune anenge atadza uye asingakonzeri kutsamwa kwake, anowedzera mutambudzi anoenda. Izvi zvakasiyana zvehukama hwemhuri zvakaoma kune wese nhengo dzemhuri, saka nzira yakanakisisa yekubuda mumamiriro ezvinhu ndeyokuputsa ukama hwakadaro.
Ungarega sei kuva munhu anomanikidza?
Munhu anenge ava kunyomba, zvakaoma kuzvitarisira iwe pachako. Anofunga kuti mufambiro wake unomanikidzwa, hunokonzerwa nemufambiro wakaipa wemudiwa. Chinhu chekutanga chinoda kuitwa kuti chirege kurega kushungurudza ndechokuona dambudziko. Kuita zvepanyama, zvepabonde, kana zvepfungwa kune migumisiro, iyo inofanira kukonzera munhu anomanikidza pfungwa yokuti ari kuita chimwe chinhu chakaipa. Anofanira kunzwisisa kuti chikonzero chikuru chiri mumoyo make, uye kwete kuvanhu vakavapoteredza.
Kuti abvise mafambiro avo akaipa, vanapfungwa dzepfungwa vanokurudzira kuti gomba rakadzikadzika rifunge nezvemibvunzo yakadaro:
- Ndezvipi zviitiko zvinokonzera kusakanganisika?
- Ndeipi chikonzero chikuru chekuzvibata: kushungurudzika kwevana, kusazviremekedza, dambudziko remunhu, zviitiko zvake?
- Ndeipi migumisiro yekuita zvakaipa?
- Iwe ungaita sei zvakasiyana nemamiriro ezvinhu akabuda?
Migumisiro yeBudza
Abuz ane zvinotevera:
- kuputsa kwehukama hwevanhu ;
- kuwedzera kwekutenda uye kushamwaridzana kwepedyo;
- kusvibiswa kwemadzimai mushure mekunyorwa kwaAbyuza uye kunokonzerwa nokusada kwemukadzi kuenderera mberi nekuedza chero chinhu nekurasikirwa kwechido muupenyu;
- kuderera kwekuzviremekedza uye kusagadzikana kunokonzerwa nemamiriro ezvinhu kune mumwe wako wave akaiswa pasi pechisimba;
- kuderedza hukama nehuwandu kana kupera kwakakwana.
Mabhuku pamusoro pevyuzers
Kuti unzwisise zviri nani nyaya yechisimba, zvakakosha kuti uverenge mabhuku akadaro pamusoro pebyuz:
- Aud Dalsegg "Pamusoro peHook. Nzira yekuputsa denderedzwa yehukama hwakashata . " Bhuku rino rinotsanangura kuti nei vanhu vachiita zvechisimba uye kuti vangadzivisa sei kushungurudzwa.
- Lundy Bancroft "Sei achiita izvi?" . Mune chimiro chinonakidza, munyori anotiudza kuti munhu haafaniri kushivirira ukama hunoshungurudza uye edza kuzvigadzirisa.
- Nancy Mutengo, James Grant "Mubhedha nemuvengi . " Iyi mifananidzo inotsanangura dambudziko rehukama hunoshungurudza, kubva pane iyo munhu mukuru anoedza kubvisa marwadzo ekufa.
Firimu pamusoro pevyuzeryov
Mafirimu nezvekushungurudza ukama huri kunakidza pakuti anoratidza hukama huripo mienzaniso yeupenyu. Mafirimu anozivikanwa zvikuru ndeaya:
- "Mambo wangu . " Mushure mekukuvara, munhu mukuru anofunga nezvehutano hwakanaka hwehukama hwake nemumwe wake.
- "Mukadzi waStalin . " Mumufirimu, wakavakirwa pane zviitiko zvezvakaitika kare, zvinoudzwa pamusoro peAbyuzere uyo anoisa zvishuvo zvake mukati mehukama.
- "Maleficent" . Mune firimu, mune fomu yemafungiro, kubyuse kunorondedzerwa maererano ne heroine huru, manzwiro ake nemanzwiro ake shure kwake, pamwe nekuedza kubuda kunze kwehutano hwepfungwa.